9 Lessons I have learned through Adoption.

Adoption Day July 22nd, 2010

Note: A few months ago I had the privilege of teaching at a Woman's Conference at Calvary Chapel Sao Vicente. CCSV is a church that is very near and dear to our hearts. Our family had a blessed time with our friends Pastor Celso and his beautiful wife Tati. One of the three messages that the Lord put on my heart to teach was "9 Lessons I have learned   through Adoption". For whatever reason the Lord put it on my heart today to post my notes from this teaching. I have already shared some of these ideas on this blog but I wanted to re post them to keep a record of what the Lord has been teaching this mom of many and I hope that He will use it to encourage someone else. With much love - Dani

Lesson 1.) We are chosen to be sons of God. 

(Rom 8:15) For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

 I have learned that it is very important to teach our children that adoption means acceptance and adoption means love. My oldest son Josiah has been told this so many times he started to tell people “Did you know I am the best kid in the whole world? Do you know why I am the best kid in the whole world? My parents could have picked any kid in the whole world but they chose me.” 

In fact our family has put such an emphasis on making sure that our children know that adoption is a special thing our biological son Ezekiel who is 4 years old started telling people that he was adopted. Adoption is acceptance. Adoption is love. We were chosen to be sons of God. Did you know that you are loved? Sometimes we as women just need to hear that don’t we? YOU ARE ACCEPTED! YOU ARE LOVED! YOU are loved by the God of the universe.  

Lesson 2 .) The Lord made a sacrifice to have a relationship with me. (John 3:16 )“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."  When we first got our kids it was really difficult. The kids came to us with lots of issues. It wasn’t their fault, they had come from a difficult life but never the less in the beginning it was very hard to parent them. I remember a time about a month after we got the kids, Nathan had gone back to Brazil to take care of the church and the kids and I had to stay in the U.S.A. to finalize the adoption. At the time we had 6 kids. Our oldest son Josiah was 5 years old, Hope was 4 years old, Grace, Lilly and Jer were ALL 2 years old and E.Z. was only 6 months old. Imagine 6 kids under 5 years old. Four of the kids were under 2 years old and FOUR babies were using diapers!! That is over a 1,000 diapers a month!! Imagine! I remember one day I was really sick, super sleep deprived, missing my husband and dealing with some MAJOR bad attitudes (mine was the worst I am sure). By noon, I had poop thrown at me, been bit, dealt with TONS of screaming, and to top it all off my face was dripping with spit from an angry two year old. My 5 year old had told me that he hated me and he wanted to go back to his “old mom”.  After I finally got everyone settled and down for a nap I sat on my bed and cried out to the Lord and said,

"Father, what am I doing? Are these kids ever going to realize what we are doing for them? Are they ever going to appreciate what we have given up for them? Are they ever going to love me the way that I love them?" 

As I sat on my bed listening to the unusually quiet house I heard my answer in the form of a question. The Lord said to me - 

“Do you realize what I have given up for you? Do you love ME the way that I love you?" 

Wow! It was in that moment that something in my mind clicked. Jesus ALREADY knew what I was feeling because He had ALREADY done it. He gave up being with His Father (WOW!) - so I should be able to get through being away from Nate for a time while we finalized the adoption. 

The Lord knew what it was like to have His kids spit in His face because He ALREADY did it - AND (here is the crazy part) He did it all for me and He did it for YOU.

Lesson 3.) Jesus is not ashamed to call us HIS brothers!  (Heb 2:11)“For both He who sanctifies and those who are being sanctified are all of one, for which reason He is not ashamed to call them brethren” 

 Shortly after adopting our kids, I remember shopping at Walmart in our pretty conservative little town. Because I had 6 little kids we usually did our shopping in the afternoon which also happens to be when the older/ sometimes rather judgemental senior citizens of our town would also do their shopping. On this particular shopping trip I remember Josiah gleefully singing the “Thong Song” as loud as he could while I avoided eye contact from more than one horrified fellow shoppers. Poor Hope wanted to hide under the cart as all attempts to quiet Josiah's concert only encouraged him to sing louder. In the moment good girl Hope was a little ashamed for people to think Josiah was her brother but Jesus is not ashamed to call us HIS brothers. Wow!

Lesson 4.) We are considered joint heirs and brothers with Jesus.  

(Gal 4:5-6) to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!”

 July 22nd, 2010, our adoption day was one of the best days of my life. Like our wedding day or our other children's births is was a day that was much anticipated, planned for, and prayed over. Because it was such a crazy day I remember very little details of the day and the adoption ceremony itself. So while the details of the day are foggy one thing is forever etched in my mind and I will remember it for the rest of my life and that is what the judge said to us right before she pronounced the kids "Cates forever". The judge looked Nathan and I in the eye and very seriously said  “Mr. and Mrs. Cate I see that you already have three biological children and I want to make one thing very clear. These children that you are adopting today will be considered the same as your biological children. They have every right and every inheritance as if they were born to you.” We as Christians are considered joint heirs of Jesus. We are sons of God. 

Lesson 5.) When we spend time with the Lord we look more like Him.  (2Corinthians 3:18) “ But we all, with unveiled face, beholding a(2Corinthians 3:18) “ But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” One of my favorite things as an adoptive mother is watching our family grow and mold together. Everywhere we go people try to “figure us out”. Everyone wants to know how on earth two 28 year olds could have 8 kids. Sometimes we will tell people that we adopted but I always hate when people want to know WHO was adopted. My favorite response is, “I forgot”. Nate likes to say, “Hey if you can’t tell why should we?” I love that people can’t tell who is adopted and who is biological; this means that we are doing our job as adoptive parents. 

 Lately I have been seeing traits of Nathan in the kids more than ever, whether it is Josiah making a cheesy joke, Jeremiah making a funny face, or Lilly having an unnatural obsession for chocolate I am always finding myself telling the kids 

“You get that from your dad!” Every day the kids are becoming more like Nate because they are spending TIME with him, they have a relationship with him, and they are picking up on who he is as a person. I hope and pray that this is how I am with my Father Jesus Christ. I want to become more like Him as I spend time with Him just growing in our relationship and growing in His Word. I want to look like my Dad. 

Lesson 6.) The Lord sacrificed His perfect SON to have a relationship with me and imperfect sinner.  (yes, this verse again, hey it is that good!!)  (John 3:16 )“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 

 I remember when my kids first came to us Lilly was having a really hard time. Like I have already said, it was not her fault, she had been through a lot in her life and she just didn’t really like people. At the time out of all the people that she didn't like the one that she hated most (again, just in the beginning) was me. It was SO hard trying to love someone who only hated me. I remember one day she did something bad and I had to put her in a time out. When I asked her to go to the time out chair for her discipline she was so angry she put her hands on her hips and marched away. As she was walking away and glaring at me from across the room she spotted my 6 month old baby Ezekiel who was laying on the floor. Before I had time to make it across the room she got to the baby and kicked him in the face with her cowboy boots on! My heart broke! I loved the kids so much but I did not want to see my biological kids suffer because I had chosen to adopt my other 3 kids. I would do anything for any of my kids. I would lay down my life for any of my kids. The only thing that I would not be able to do would be to sacrifice the life of one of my kids for another kid. That kind of sacrifice would be an almost impossible sacrifice but if we really stop and think about it our Lord made an even greater sacrifice for us! At the time of this story my Lilly was bad but nothing compared to the sinner than I am. My baby Ezekiel was innocent but nothing compared to the innocence of the sinless Son of God Jesus Christ. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) The Lord sacrificed His perfect Son to have a relationship with me. THIS IS LOVE!

Lesson 7.) There is no evidence of our past life. We are new creations in Him.  (2 Corinthians 5:17) “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”  I have been talking a lot about the horror stories of when the kids first came to us, but something very interesting is in only four and a half years of being in our family our kids are totally different people. Most people who meet our family are not even able to tell who is adopted and who are our biological children. Why? Because there is little to no evidence of the pain and the past life that my kids had. They have become new people. The old has passed away and new life has begun.   My kids have new names, new identity and a new family. This is something that the Lord desires to do in our lives as well when we accept Him as our Savior.

 Lesson 8.) The Lord has patience with me as I continue to grow in Him. 

 (Philippians 1:6)“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”

My kids are still not perfect (none of them are, they are sinners just like their mom ;) .) but they are continuing to grow every day. Sometimes the kids have bad days but I am trusting that the Lord will be faithful to complete the good work that He has started in their lives. When my kids have a bad day do I get mad and say “Ok, you have gone back to your old ways, no more love for you!” NO! I know that my kids are not perfect and I still love them. The Lord knows that we are not perfect and He choses to love us anyways. He will have patience and grace to forgive us when we fall and He will be faithful to continue the good work that HE has begun in our lives. 

Lesson 9.) I must choose a relationship with Him. We have sacrificed a lot for our kids and over the years we have had a lot of people say funny things like “You guys are saints!” or “What a blessing you are to those kids” but the reality is it isn’t only the kids who were blessed when we adopted them. Nathan and I are blessed every day to have every one of our kids as part of our family!o We love watching them play, we love watching them learn, and we love watching them grow. We love seeing their different personalities and we love getting to know them more everyday. There is no greater joy than having a relationship with our kids. When our kids choose to talk to us, when they choose to spend time with us and share their hearts with us everything that we have done for them is totally worth it. Our Heavenly Father is also wanting to have that same kind of relationship with us. The only thing is we need to do is accept that relationship with Him. We need to choose to walk in that relationship and to spend time growing in that relationship daily. You have the opportunity to become a daughter of the Living God. If you are have already accepted Jesus as your Savior ask yourself “Do I look like my Dad?”, are you looking more like Jesus daily? If you don’t see that you are growing in your relationship with Him now is the time to recommit yourself to Him and start the process of becoming more and more like Him.  

(Rev. 3:20)“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.”

"You get that from your Dad!"

One of my favorite things as an adoptive mother is watching our family grow and mold together. Everywhere we go people try to “figure us out”. Everyone wants to know how on earth two 25 year olds could have 7 kids. Sometimes we will tell people that we adopted but I always hate when people want to know WHO was adopted. My favorite response is, “I forgot”. Nate likes to say, “Hey if you can’t tell why should we?” I love that people can’t tell who is adopted and who is biological; this means that we are doing our job as adoptive parents.

Lately I have been seeing traits of Nathan in the kids more than ever, whether it is Josiah making a cheesy joke, Jeremiah making a funny face, or Lilly having an unnatural obsession for chocolate I am always finding myself telling the kids
“You get that from your dad!” Every day the kids are becoming more like Nate because they are spending TIME with him, they have a relationship with him, and they are picking up on who he is as a person. I hope and pray that this is how I am with my Father Jesus Christ. I want to become more like Him as I spend time with Him just growing in our relationship and growing in His Word. I want to look like my Dad.

2Cr 3:18 “ But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

A family of 8 - 1 year later.

I will always consider January 21st 2010 to be one of the best days in my life because that is the day that the Lord in His infinite wisdom decided to bring Josiah Jacob, Lilliana Faith, and Jeremiah James to become part of our family.

One year ago today we got the surprise call telling us that they needed help and half an hour after that call we were on the way to pick them up.

The past year has been by far the most faith stretching, patience growing, spiritually maturing year of my life. It has been an experience that has tested my husband and I in every aspect of our lives - spiritually , emotionally, financially, and physically. In those hard times I have been so thankful that I have been able to look back and say, “I know the Lord has called us to do this. He IS going to do this.” Through every trial, whether it was in those first few months without Nate, or during those seemingly endless adoption paperwork nightmares, the Lord has been faithful. He has never abandoned us even for a moment and I am in awe of all that He has done.

When the Lord brought us our kids they came with hurting hearts and lots of baggage. Now one year later it is like they are three entirely different children. This is not because Nate and I are the world’s best parents . No. This is a work that only Jesus could do. Only Jesus could make these kids into who they are today and only He could turn them into the awesome Jesus loving adults that I know they will become. In all honesty the kids still have hard days. Josiah still has lots of questions about what happened and why, but in these difficult moments I have hope. I know that because the Lord is the one that began this good work in our kids HE will be faithful to complete it.

I have so many amazing memories in this past year I am pretty sure I could write a book, but instead I will take a minute and share my favorite moment with each of our three newest additions. If you are reading this you might not think that these moments are very special but as their mom I will forever hold these moments in my heart. :)


My favorite moment with Josiah –
Josiah has A.D.D. so school has always been difficult for him. We are homeschooling this year and after the first week I thought that we were going to need to look into something else. I just didn’t think that I was cut out to teach him to read. Man was I ever thankful that we didn’t give up a few weeks later when we were snuggled up on the couch reading and he just GOT IT! All at once it was like a light turned on and he was able to read whole sentences at a time. He was SO excited and I could not have been more proud of him. He kept saying “Mommy I CAN read! I AM smart!!” Ahhhh.. it was a great day. :)

My favorite moment with Lilliana –
If any of your know Lilly you know that she is a spitfire to say the least. I am pretty sure that she will keep her daddy and I on our toes (and our knees) for many years to come.
When Lilly first came to us she was the hardest two year old that I had ever seen. She did not show us any emotion for the first month and when she did start to show her personality it scared me how mean and angry she could be at only two years old. That being said we have seen a change in Lilly that only Jesus could do. She has gone from being the little girl that would not smile at all to become the little girl whose eyes literally dance when she smiles. She has now become our most affectionate child, and I lose track of how many times a day that she runs over and says “I wanna kiss Momma!”

My favorite moment with Lilly was when she was looking at my wedding pictures and said “Momma I wanna grow up! I wanna get married! I gonna marry Daddy- he’s MY prince!”

Lilly is absolutely in love with her daddy. Her favorite thing to do is dance with him. Every time I see them dance together I think “What if she had never had this? What if she never had a daddy to dance with her, or a daddy to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day?” In those moments I always stop and thank the Lord again for bringing these kids into our family, not just for them but for us as well. Now Lilly will have a dad to walk her down the aisle and I get to be the mom that gets her ready to go down that aisle. :)

My favorite moment with Jeremiah (Jer Bear) –
Jeremiah is our little blonde haired blue eyed boy that has a smile about as big as his face. When people meet our family it is always Jeremiah who steals their heart within about a minute of knowing them.

Jeremiah has many health problems. He has hydrocephalus and a V.P. shunt in the right side of his brain along with a handful of other things. Because of his health problems he is considered “slow” but I think that it only adds to his cute personality. Jeremiah is always making us laugh, he doesn’t always quite know why everyone is laughing but he is always laughing the loudest and the hardest and in doing so only makes us laugh more.

Jeremiah is just starting totalk and he is really figure out what he likes and what he is into. So far he has found four things that he LOVES - bugs, basketball, cars and SUPERMAN !

On Christmas Eve my mom sent him a Superman shirt with a cape. Jeremiah put it on and ran around the house playing Superman. When I called him I said, “Jeremiah come here.” He looked up and said, “No! I SUPERMAN!!!!” I think he wore the shirt for three days straight before we could convince him to take it off to wash it and for days he only wanted to answer us if we called him “Superman”. ;)

So there you have it. A couple of my thoughts and memories of this past year. I am so thankful, blessed, and humbled that the Lord choose me to be “Mommy” to these kids. I praise the Lord for His faithfulness over the last year and I am looking forward to the years to come.

God's Grace.

Awhile back my family and I witnessed the “Rio Vermelho Justice System” in action. I was sitting in the front seat of our car pregnant with Ezekiel, the girls were in their car seats in the back seat and Nate had just run into a gas station to pay for some gas that the attendant was pumping. All of the sudden I heard a bunch of men shouting and I looked up to see about twenty guys with 2 x 4’s and palm tree branches running towards our car. As I was trying to take in everything that was going on Hope started shrieking in the back seat, “Daddy!!! Daddy!” as she was looking out the window. I looked out the window to see that the men had taken hold of a man that I knew to be one of the town drunks and they were dragging him all around, pushing him, and hitting him with their weapons of choice. With the help of the gas station attendant I quickly locked all our doors, jumped into the back seat, ripped my daughters out of their car seats, threw them on the floor and laid on top of them. I kept peeking up to look out the window to see if Nate was coming, but the fight was going on in between Nate who was in the gas station and where we were in the car.

The men that held the man hostage made the man admit to stealing different things from each of their business , made him beg for his life and eventually let him stumble away blubbering like a baby.

After the fight a few of the men that had beaten the man explained what had happened to Nate.

This man had been stealing different things from many of our local business, the cops wouldn’t do anything about it so they had to take matters into their own hands. They apologized that we had to see it, but they explained that it was important to make an example out of this man so things like this wouldn’t happen all the time.

After the fight all of the men went back to their jobs, and we continued to run into them that day as we went about our errands. I was in shock that they could all just go back to work as if everything was normal but then it struck me that this is their normal. This is their justice system – If you do what you are supposed to be doing you will be fine. If you mess up and do something wrong you will pay.

As I have thought more about this form of justice over the years I have often thought about how thankful I am that the Lord does not deal with us in the same way. I am sure that I would not be around long if the Lord thought like that “O.K. Dani, you messed up. You are DONE!”

Understanding God’s grace is something that I have always struggled with. He has had to teach me so many times over the years that there is nothing that I can do to earn or deserve Him.

The other day I was having such a bad attitude . All I wanted to do was complain and make excuses for my behavior. I was refusing to call it what it was (sin), and instead I was telling myself ( and Nate poor guy) “I am mad because I am pregnant and cannot stop puking because it is 100 degrees in my house!” or “I am mad because the kids are grumpy because they have not slept well in a week because of the heat.” or “ I am mad because I am SO sick of all these bugs, and a toilet that does not flush and I have to look at a #2 every time I have to throw up!” or “Hormones!!! It is all the hormones fault!” This went on all day and by the time I got to church I had made myself miserable. What I needed was a spiritual spanking but God in His mercy decided to give me something else – GRACE.

There I was bad attitude and all with six cranky kids and getting ready to teach Sunday School when my friend shocked me by asking if I would like to sit in church. Now for you to understand what I HUGE deal sitting in church is to me I have to tell you that in almost four years of being in missions I could count on one hand all the times that I have actually been able to SIT in church. Usually I am busy teaching Sunday School and dealing with kids. Now don’t get me wrong, ministering to kids is not only my ministry, it is my joy. I absolutely love it and I would not trade it for anything in the world, but to be able to just sit and hear the Word in person is such a special treat for me.

As I entered into worship I was broken. I confessed my bad attitude and praise the Lord for blessing me when I SO did not deserve it. What a gracious God we serve.

“ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 1:3-4)

"A Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart!"

Living in a country so far from everything that you have always known can have its ups and downs. While I absolutely LOVE Brazil and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the people that the Lord has blessed us with as friends, holidays can be hard.

The last few days I have been dealing with a really bad attitude concerning the holidays. I really did not “feel” like trying to celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. I had about a million excuses why I didn’t want to celebrate - “Why go through all of the trouble of making a meal if it isn’t going to be anything like the normal Thanksgiving meal.” Our little grocery store here in Rio Vermelho does not have turkey, ham, cranberry sauce, stuffing, pumpkin pie, or really anything that I would normally make for Thanksgiving. None of our friends were going to be celebrating Thanksgiving, as it is an American Holiday. It just seemed like it would be easier if we just pretended like November 25 was just like any other day.

Thankfully the Lord convicted me of my bad attitude and reminded me just how blessed I am and have been this past year. This year I have seen the Lord perform miracles to be sure. He blessed us with our three newest additions, He brought us through those first few hard months when I was living in the U.S. with all six kids without Nate, He miraculously provided for the adoption as well as our plane tickets home, and HE has continued to care for and grow the church in the midst of all of this going on. On top of all of these blessings the Lord reminded me of my greatest, and your greatest blessing –
WE HAVE THE HOPE OF HEAVEN! At one time I was lost but now I am found, and I am going to live with HIM, the King of kings forever! Wow.

After the Lord convicted me and I repented we had a great day. Nate drove to the next town and he was able to find a HAM (well, sort of ☺), the makings for a crustless apple pie, sweet potato casserole, broccoli, garlic potatoes, and some yummy cheese bread. I spent the entire day in the kitchen preparing but it was so worth it. We invited a couple from church over at the last minute and we all had a great time. The kids just could not believe that we would totally let them pig out on all the sweet stuff!

About half way through the day it hit me that this was our first Thanksgiving as a big family. I missed the first 6 Thanksgivings of Josiah’s life, but I am so excited to be able to share in his Thanksgivings in the years to come.

I am now looking forward to Christmas. I am choosing not to dwell on the negatives. If we do not have a tree that is fine. If we are not able to buy the kids the gifts that we would like to give them they will be O.K.. We are going to celebrate the real meaning of Christmas. We are going to remember our God who gave his only Son to die, so that I a sinner would have the hope of heaven, and for this I am thankful! ☺

The Simple Life.

When I was a little girl my good friend Beth and I would often tell people that we had been born in the wrong era. We were obsessed with the 1800’s and what we thought would be the “simple life.” Now that I am a little older and actually living a much simpler life than most of my American friends, I thought it would be fun to write about some of the differences between my life in the U.S. and my life in Brazil.

I realize that not all of Brazil is the same kind of living as where I live in Rio Vermelho. If you were to travel to the Amazon you would find that some people live with far less comforts than we are blessed to have, but if you were to visit Rio, or some of the other bigger cities you would find that there are parts of the city that are very modern and not so different from cities that you would find in the U.S.

In our town of Rio Vermelho life seems to move at a much slower pace. We have lived here only three and a half years but we feel like we know everyone. If we don’t know them by name or nickname (such as Water Guy, Bakery Guy, or Cat Lady) we recognize almost everyone. Most of the people I know do not have cars; we obviously do a lot of walking. Some people would think that this would be such a pain, but I think it is part of the reason that everyone knows everyone. When we walk we are always waving and saying hi to our neighbors and friends as we pass by.

Besides walking being a way of life there are other differences as well. One of the more obvious differences would be the lack of all of those modern machines that I so often used to take for granted. Here we do pretty much all of our housework by hand. When we wash clothes we wash them by hand and then hang them out to dry. When we wash our dishes we wash them by hand. When we make coffee we boil water and pour it through a funnel with a filter. When we cook we peel, chop and dice everything by hand – the only food processors in this house are attached to my wrists. ☺ A few other little differences that have made our life interesting in teaching our newest additions to adjust to their new home would be - we can not drink the water from the sink, we have no hot water in the house (our showers do plug in to get hot though), the houses have all tile instead of carpet, and the most fun one of all … we can’t flush toilet paper. Lets just say that my six year old had a bit of a hard time getting used to that last one. ;)

Some people might think that all of these differences are a bad thing, but I have found that I really do prefer the simple life. Of course I have had moments that I miss having some of those conveniences that we had in the U.S., but if I had those things I would be missing out on other things. I would miss laughing with Nate outside as we desperately try to stay caught up on laundry for eight people. I would miss playing detective with the kids to figure out who tried to flush the toilet paper, and I would miss the talks that I have with my oldest as I wash and he dries the dishes. The simple life can be difficult at times but it can also be simply sweet.

God is Great Not Late. ;)

One of the things that I LOVE about the Lord is His perfection. His decisions are always perfect, His answers are always perfect, and His timing is ALWAYS perfect. I often have a hard time with His timing. I try to tell Him that He is too fast, or too slow but I am always wrong.
I remember 41/2 years ago when we had Benji (Josiah) in our home I felt that the Lord told me that he was going to be our son. After his birthmother decided that she was not ready to give him up, I remember crying my eyes out talking to my mother-in-law on the phone.
“I don’t understand Mom! I really thought that the Lord told me that he was going to be my son! Why would He do this? Why would He tell me that if He was only going to let him be taken away?”
Her answer was (as always) very wise.
“Danielle, if this is the Lord, if this is going to happen, it will happen in His time.”
For the next four years I cried every year on Benji’s Birthday. I guess that I thought that I had just heard the Lord wrong. Little did I know that the Lord was going to bring our boy back into our lives. (If you want to know more about how that happened read “From 5 to 8”)
I was thinking the other day about my newest additions. I was asking the Lord why he would let them go through all of the experience that they have had to go thorough in their little lives. I don’t yet have an answer for this. My prayer is that He will use the things that they have gone through to bring glory to Himself.
Nathan and I will be raising these kids on the missions field. We will have lots of opportunities to minister to kids in the orphanage and on the streets. While Nate and I can love the kids in the orphanage, we will never be able to tell them that we understand how they feel, or that we have been there. My kids will be able to say that. They will be able to say, “ I have been there, and this is how the Lord used that situation and brought me through it.”
So maybe the Lord waited to bring our boy back into our lives because He wanted to be able to use him to minister to others someday, or maybe He waited because we would not have been able to get settled in Brazil with 4 kids, or maybe He waited because we would not have our precious twins if we had adopted Ben when he was a baby. I may never know why the Lord chose to wait, but I know that He knows and I trust Him. 

“Thank you Lord for your perfection. Thank you for seeing my life from start to finish and thank you for knowing what is best for me. Please use my life, and the lives of all of my kids to bring glory to You. I love you”

Live, Laugh, Love. :)

I have been thinking that it might be fun to write a little bit about what life has been like being a mommy of 6 little ones under 5 years old. I think that I am going to start doing this more for myself than anything else. I think that it will be good for me to be able to look back in a few months from now and see how far the Lord has grown me up, grown my kids up, and how He has grown us as a family.
The last four months with my three new little blessings has been such an adventure. We have had so many mountain top highs, as well as valley lows. I have moments where I find myself thinking “Wow! Look at how good they are being! I have got this down, this is easy!” These moments are usually few and far between and they go as quickly as they come. Lol!
The other day we were having a particularly good afternoon. The kids and I had been playing games together and we were all just enjoying being together as a family. I decided that because everyone was in such good moods it would be a good time to put everyone in the shower (well the youngest 5 anyway). I knew that it was not going to be easy to convince my twins to get in the shower because they prefer baths, but after lots of convincing I had everyone undressed and the process of “destinking” had begun, A few minutes into the shower I realized that I had to go to the bathroom! I know that it sounds crazy, but when you have 6 kids and you spend the day literally running you can actually forget to go. Anyway, I knew that the timing was not the best, but I hey, you have to do what you have to do (and when you have to do it). ;)
So I very quickly used the restroom and in the matter of half a second all 5 of the kids were SCREAMING! The screams were not the normal screams of whining, they were screams of sheer horror. I looked up to see four of the five kids running out of the shower. Before I even had time to see what was wrong Grace (2) was hiding behind a plant, Hope (4) was hiding under a towel, Lilly (2) was hiding behind the toilet (and flushing it over and over again), E.Z. (9 months) was still in the shower but pretty freaked out that everyone was screaming, and Jeremiah (2) had opened the door and was dancing in the hallway – totally wet and butt naked! ;) Why all the screaming you might ask? The answer – A roach. Yes, that is right. One little roach has the power to strike fear, terror, and wreak havoc in the lives of my little people. I managed to get them all calmed down within a few minutes but it took all week to be able to convince them that the “bug” no longer lived in the bathroom, and that it actually was safe for them to shower there.
I have learned the importance of laughter in times like these. It would be so easy to let stressful moments get me down, but I have learned that it will never help anything to stress. So what do I do when all 6 of kids are having a break down at the same time? What do I do when my 2 year old is dancing naked in the hallway? I LAUGH! That’s right, I laugh, and I thank the Lord for blessing me with these crazy, energetic, awesome, and totally wonderful kids. 

“Thanks God for blessing me with every one of my sweet babies. Please help me to be the very best mom for them. I want to serve You as I am serving them and their needs. Help me to raise them to love you , and give me the energy and the strength to do it. Love you Lord! Amen.”

Coming to the end of myself.

I know that it has been a little while since we have posted anything, but since my sister-in-law convinced me of the importance of keeping up to date I thought I would take a few minutes to catch up.
The kids and I are still in the U.S. waiting to be able to take our family home to Brazil. We are pretty much just in the waiting phase of this adoption. The seemingly endless homestudies and mountains of paper work are almost complete. We are starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Now we just need to pray that the Lord will provide the finances so we can get rolling on the next phase of getting our family home (tickets, passports, and visas). We are praying about taking the kids home in the next month or so and then finalizing the adoption over the phone with a notary. We will just need a few more “mountains” to move in order to be able to do this.
The last few weeks I have had so many moments of freaking out. I start to think about all of the “Hows.” “How are we going to get all of this money together?” “How are we going to survive 6 kids under 6 years old on a plane and in airports for 30 hours?” “How am I going to manage raising 6 kids in Brazil when I had my hands full with 3?” “How, how, how?? Holy cow!!!? What are we doing? What have we gotten ourselves into?!”
It is in my moments of freak out that the Lord is always so faithful to show Himself to me. Not having Nate here has made me count on the Lord so much more. The Lord’s answer to these questions is always the same.
“You can’t do it. It is only by My grace that you are going to get through this.”
The Lord knows that I have a personality that I often need to be brought to the end of myself. I love to figure things out, and get things done. I also have times that I think that I love when people think that I am Super Woman! Haha, it is in these times that the Lord always lets me know that I am nothing without Him.
I remember a few months before I came back to visit the U.S.I had a time of being brought to the end of myself. It was shortly after EZ was born so I was still not feeling well after the surgery. It was almost dark, Nate was at a friend’s house, and I was alone with our 3 kids. I was just cleaning up and I heard our pittbull barking. I looked out the window and saw three guys trying to break into our house. I was a little scared because I was pretty sure that these were the same guys that had broke into my girlfriends house a few nights before. Poor thing, she woke up alone in the middle of the night with the guy just standing by her bed. The Lord had given her courage and protected her, but I was afraid of these guys boldness.
I went to the back window and started screaming for our neighbor to come and help but because of the strong wind that night they could not hear me. I gathered my kids, put them in their room, and then went to see if the guys had gotten in. I listened to the guys argue about how they were going to get by my dog. I started to scream again and my dog made it pretty clear that she was not going to let them just pass by. I am not exactly sure why, but they decided to go. Praise the Lord!
Nate came home a little later but the guys were gone. As I sat in my “bathtub” (a little plastic box filled with water) that night I began to think about what would have, or could have happened if the guys had gotten in. How would I have protected my kids when I was still sore from surgery? In that moment of emotions I started to cry.
“Lord, what are you doing?!” I asked “I have done everything that you have asked me to do! I moved here, I learned how to live here, I went through those terrible pregnancies, I have been poor, I have seen so many bad things - even my kids have seen so many bad things. I have had my pets taken hostage, other pets killed. We have had crazy people tell us that they were going to hurt our kids. We have watched adults get beat up, we have watched kids get beat up. I have opened up my home to people I don’t even know.. I have tried to always do what I thought it was that You wanted me to be doing. I LOVE it here Lord, but I am so tired. Please God, I don’t want to do this anymore. Please just send someone else. I am done. I can’t do this!”
As I sat there crying the Lord starting to speak to me. “I know that you can’t do this, but I know that I can.” It was then that I was reminded that the Lord does not need me. I am blessed to be able to be used by Him, but it should always be Jesus doing the work. I am just the vessel .
I think that I always have knows this simple truth, but because of my thick head I need to be often reminded of it. It is an awesome thing that the Lord would choose me to serve Him. I guess when He said He would use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise He was not kidding!
Please pray for us this next month as I am sure that Nathan and I both are going to have many moments of coming to the end of ourselves.
The Lord has already done so many miracles during this journey to adopt. I know that He would not have brought us this far unless He was going to be faithful to bring us to the end!

“Thank you Lord for your faithfulness. Thank you Lord for reminding me that without you I am nothing. Thanks for being my EVERYTHING! I love you.”

Jesus Loves Me This I Know!

Hello all you (two) people out there. It is I, Dani. :) If you know Nathan and I at all you will be shocked that we have made a blog for two reasons. The first reason being we are both far too unorganized to ever keep it up. The second reason being that we are both way too busy living our life to ever have time to write about it.
That being said, we are both going to try to be better about keeping people up-to-date on what is going on in our lives, and the work that the Lord is doing in us and through us. :)
One thing I love about growing up and going through life experiences is being able to better relate with some of the different examples that the Lord gives to us in His Word.
When Nate and I got married five and a half years ago I was better able to understand His example of the relationship between Christ and the church in Ephesians 5. When our first daughter was born in January of 2006 I was able to get a glimpse of just how much God loved us that He sent His only Son to die for us as talked about in John 3:16. Now that we are going through this adoption process I am better able to understand His examples of adopting us (found in Gal.4:5, or Eph.1:4).
I have six kids and not one of them is perfect (try not to be shocked). My three new little blessings are handfuls to be sure. Most of it is not their fault. They have been through a lot in their little lives.
A few weeks ago I was having a very tough day. I was sick, super sleep deprived, missing my husband, and dealing with some MAJOR bad attitudes.
By noon I had poop thrown at me twice, been bite three times, dealt with TONS of screaming, and to top it all off my face was dripping with spit from an angry two year old.
After I finally got everyone settled and down for a nap I cried out to the Lord and said,
"Father, are they ever going to realize what we are doing for them? Are they ever going to appreciate what we have given up for them? Are they ever going to love me the way that I love them?"
As I sat on my bed listening to the unusually quiet house I heard my answer in the form of a question.
"Have you My daughter? Do you My daughter?"
Wow! It was in that moment that something in my mind clicked. Jesus ALREADY knew what I was feeling because He had ALREADY done it. He gave up being with His Father (WOW!) - so I should be able to get through being away from Nate.
He knows what it is like to have your kids that you love spit in your face. Why? Because He ALREADY did it - AND (here is the crazy part) He did it for ME!!
So yes, while it may seem to me like no one knows what I am going through at times I have been reminded yet again that HE knows, and He cares!
I am also encouraged to think about the reasons why He did what He did for me. He did this all in order to have a relationship with me. This is my heart's prayer for all of my kids. I want a relationship with them. I want to always be there for them. I want them to always be able to come to me with anything.
I am so excited to see where that relationship takes us down the road in this life. I can not wait to see my kids walking with the Lord, growing in the Lord, and making the world a better place because they are in it.
Please continue to pray for us as we continue to take this step of faith.
Love always, Dani